4.9% Alcohol by Volume
Color of Head #E1AD6F
Color of Body #784D1A

Ok, so I'm a day off from when I said I would be back to reviewing beer, but it's worth the wait. I have a brand new beer (new to me, at least) that looks absolutely amazing, and I can't wait to try it. And sorry about the lack of a picture. I couldn't find a brewery image to put on the site here. I really need a camera :( This is a big ass, expensive beer. The Julius Echter Hefeweizen Dunkel cost about $12 for a freaking four pack, so I'm going to be incredibly disappointed if it doesn't blow my pants off with its orgasmic quality. And I'm really hoping for this beer to turn my day around, so it has its work cut out for it. What's wrong with my day, you ask? Here's what is wrong in a nice, bullet point list:

• It's raining outside.
• I have two tickets with nice field position to the last UT football game of the year against Kentucky, and Phillip Fulmer's final game as UT's head coach
• it's freaking cold out
• my roommate ditched out on going to the game with me, and I can't find anyone to take his place
• I just figured out my schedule for the next two weeks, and I have a tremendous amount of finals and projects due
• And finally, it's November 29th and I still haven't been advised for next semester so I can't register for classes.

So that sucks... Anyway, at least UT's basketball team kicks ass and takes names. Oh yeah, and we got Lane Kiffin as head coach! Whoot! But enough about sports, let's get to drinkin!

This pours a very nice, bubbly, yet creamy head that is persisting nicely. Its the exact color of the head on a cappuccino. The body is the color of a darker, lager, like Yuengling, and has the hue of light milk chocolate. It has the normal Hefe smell of olives, but there is much more to it than that. It's very complex. There is a faint hint of lemon zest, a little bit of hops, and oddly, tomato vine. Yes, that's right, tomato vine. You know the smell that gets on your hand after you handle a tomato, fresh and straight from the vine? That's what I'm talking about. It's faint, but it's there.

Oh wow, that tastes really good. Very nicely carbonated. There is a slightly bitter, hoppy aftertaste that hits the back of your tongue that is in no way unpleasant. I keep smelling the beer, it's just so complex! There are so many tastes here, which is weird because it's brewed under Reinheitsgebot, or the Bavarian Purity Act of 1516, so there are no spices added to the brew. It just has water, wheat malt, barley malt, and hops in it. This really shows the quality and devotion of the brewery that this beer gets so much out of so few ingredients.

If you get the pleasure of drinking this beer, make sure you use a 16oz glass and really swish it around in the bottle to get all the residue that has settled to the bottom. It tends to get stuck there if it has been sitting for any period of time. I just drank enough out of my 12oz glass to be able to pour the rest in, and it greatly added to the color, texture, and flavor of the beer. It enhanced everything.

Getting down to the bottom of the glass I'm starting to see little pockets of debris that have settled on the bottom of the glass, which look delicious. As the Dunkel gets a little warmer, a little more bitterness is coming out. I'm also getting a slight mocha taste that I didn't notice before, though that could be a psychological effect, due to the color of the beer.

This beer was great. It was just what I needed to turn my day around, and well worth the steep price. I would really like to compare it to the Weihenstephaner Dunkel which is one of my favorite beers I have ever had (the fact that I had it at the glorious Nantahala Outdoor Center might have something to do with it being a favorite), though I have yet to see it around these parts so it might be a while. In summary, this is a complex, delicious beer that makes me love life just a little more. If it weren't for the price and the difficulty of locating it, it would be what I drank every day. If you happen to see it in your travels, definitely pick it up. You will not regret it, I promise. This beer earns me highest score yet. 95/100.

Just a random rant to break the monotony:

On Hulu they take breaks from whatever it is you're watching to show you commercials, just like with regular TV. This is not what upsets me. It is perfectly fine to try and generate some ad revenue from this service. What bothers me is that the commercials you see on Hulu are the same ones (for the most part) that you can see on TV. This is ridiculous. You have the ability to know more about your demographic than with any other medium possible, and you choose to show me the same, homogenized shit that's on FOX? It is so incredibly easy to target your ads with current technology, but they aren't taking advantage of it. I mean, the information readily available to them about me is that I am using a Linux pc, using Firefox, that I am from the UTK area of Knoxville, TN, and that I am watching the episode of “It's Always Sunny In Philidelphia” where they try to figure out who pooped the bed. That is the absolute, bare minimum amount of information they could know about me.

There are probably all sorts of things they could know about me that I'm not thinking of, But still, they decide to repeat the same, heartfelt Christmas Best Buy commercial three times until the end of the episode. If this keeps up, Hulu and any other forms of legal, streaming media are bound to fail, and I don't want to see that happen.

Color of Head #E7DBBD
Color of Body #D3B24B

This is one of the few beers that I really don't have any preconceived notions about. The bottle is plain, but nicely designed. I don't really like the logo, but the six pack has a nice, recycled look to it, and I mean that in a good way. Sustainability is important in all parts of life, and beer is no exception. Oh yeah, and just to rant for a moment, I'm getting really tired of winter already, which is a very bad thing. It's so cold out that I'm kinda dreading drinking this ice cold beer. I'm starting to become curious about the German (is that the right country?) thing where they drink warm beer. But oh well. It's time to drink this beer! For America...

For an unfiltered beer, there is not much haziness at all. It smells very crisp and clean, and has the slightest hint of a honey scent. Had an excellent head on an easy pour. It's actually persisting nicely as well. Man, it's really nice to have a wheat beer that isn't heavily laced with coriander. This one is brewed along the lines of the German Beer Purity Law (with the obvious addition of wheat), so there are no secret herbs and spices thrown in. All that is in it are barley malt, wheat, water, hops, and yeast. That's it. It's really refreshing to taste a beer that is this clean and pure. This tastes like what beer is supposed to taste like. It hits every part of the taste buds equally and his no bitter aftertaste, or much of an aftertaste at all. I can only imagine what this tastes like from draft and not from a bottle.

This was a great, simple beer. Nothing too complex, just simple, deep, well done beer. If PūR made a filter for beer, this is what would come out of it. My only regret is that I didn't have this at a bar where I could properly enjoy it. I can see a great time being had with a couple friends over a couple rounds of this beer. I strongly recommend this beer. I think it is fantastic, and was very pleasantly surprised by it. I've complained in the past about a beer being good but not doing anything special, but for this beer, what it does special is having a simple, awesome taste. 87/100.

5.2% Alcohol by Volume
Color of Head #FFFAE5
Color of Body #DF8F31

Tonight, I am finally drinking the beer that is my main glass's namesake. For some reason, I have always been hateful and distrusting of this beer, though I don't believe I have ever had it. I don't know why, but I think it has something to do with the douchey packaging and branding and the fact that it's from Michelob. Not that there's anything wrong with Michelob, I just have a prejudice against large breweries. I like the little guy, you dig? But the design is really inexcusable. I mean, there's a damn orange slice with a Mohawk and and ZZ Top glasses on. This had better be the most radical beer ever...

The smell is very reminiscent of Blue Moon. I'm guessing there is some heavy coriander being used here, because it almost takes your breath away. Behind that there are some definite citrus notes, which is much more orange than lemon. After the pour, there was a very nice looking, unusually creamy head which sadly faded completely away within about 25 seconds. It's a very pretty beer, and really does possess a slightly orangish hue. This is very similar to Blue Moon, which I suppose may be due to it being mass produced, as well as having other successful beers already out there to model itself from. I mean hell, just look at the sales figures for Blue Moon that have exploded recently and you don't even need to do any market research, just make a beer like it. It's very nicely carbonated. This is a very fragmented review, isn't it? It kinda jumps around a lot. Oh well. It's been a long week, lots of homework and projects due, in addition to tests. Siiiigh. This isn't nearly as overpowering as Blue Moon, but as a result isn't nearly as satisfying. Also, it's cloudy, but there is no real debris to be found.

As silly as this sounds, I would have really liked to have tasted a lot more citrus in this beer. I mean, there is an orange prominently displayed on the label of this beer, and yet this citrus elements are incredibly subtle. It's like how you would feel if you picked up a Penthouse and you found articles about gardening inside. I mean, I like gardening just fine, but I was really hoping to see something else. This beer was ok, but that's all. Just ok. Like I said, imagine a Blue Moon but more docile and with very faint citrus notes and you have this beer. I wouldn't really recommend this beer. It's nothing to write home about and I honestly can't even remember what it tasted like, it's that forgettable. It is not bad, but definitely nothing “shocking” about it. 62/100.

4.7% Alcohol by Volume
Color of Head #FFE0BE
Color of Body #A46014

OK, this is going to be a little bit of a biased review. I love Flying Dog beer. I've loved every beer I have ever had from them. They are amazing. And they, like Magic Hat, have excellent design and branding. The bottles just look so damn cool and edgy! Don't they? I mean, look at the In Heat Wheat bottle for an example of what I mean. Wow. Dirty. Anyway...

OK, now THIS smells like a Hefeweizen. Smells like olives. Man, alcohol is weird, you know? I hate olives, but I love the taste and smell in a beer. I have that same thing going on with Jagermeister where it smells and tastes like licorice but I like it, despite abhorring licorice. Head was really thin and faded fast. Nicely carbonated. Makes your gums tingle, but isn't overpowering at all. A little bitter and slightly hoppy. In addition to the olive taste, I think there is a little bit of cinnamon in there too. It's nicely filling and has a very pretty brownish-gold color to the body.

I don't really have a whole lot else to say about this beer. The fact that I have had it a decent number of times before kinda messes of the creative process for me. I mean, it's a really good American Hefeweizen that I highly recommend. It's one of the best Hefeweizens you can get around these parts, or anywhere else. Plus, you'll look really freaking cool holding the bottle. 85/100.

Color of Head #F7EDB0
Color of Body #F4DD49

This is my first Magic Hat beer, and I've heard a lot of good stuff about them. They have just recently become widespread here in Knoxville, like New Belgium did a few months ago. It's always such an exciting time for me when a new brewer comes to town to market their wares, especially a popular one like Magic Hat. I'd also like to say that I think they have some really attractive bottle designs and excellent branding. All the Magic Hat beers are very recognizable because of the swirly, almost psychedelic patterns found on the bottles and six-packs. I'm saying all this now before I even try the beer because I don't want to be biased. Also, one last unrelated note, Dinner: Impossible is one of the best shows on television. It's so tense. Right now the guy is making a meal for 100 Anheuser-Busch employees using five different types of beer, including a trifle made from Amber Bock and Jell-o that looks amazing. And yes, I realize how gay it is of me that I just wrote that. But I digress...

The inside of the cap says “Quaff with care or poorly you'll fare.” Very nice. Ok, the smell is not terribly appealing. There is a tiny bit of lemon zest as well as something a little chemical (and I swear I smell some hops in there too), but nothing that really stands out. Now what really stands out out upon first taste is the faint hint of Dawn dish detergent. And I'm not alone on this, my roommate tastes it too. Very, very carbonated, almost to the point of burning the tongue. Also, this is an incredibly clear beer. Like, Budweiser clear. I can see Dinner: Impossible through the beer on my TV across the room. I'm assuming, knowing the risk I pose of appearing as an ass, that this is a filtered beer, though there is no mention of it on the bottle. It also tastes very thin. Not filling at all, and not a lot to pick out. It's even a little bitter. On the plus side, its got a nice, clean finish without much of an aftertaste. And the taste of Dawn disappears after a while, so that's cool...

All said, I'm pretty disappointed by this beer. It could be because my hopes were really high going into it, but I think it's just because this beer isn't very good. I mean, a clear Hefeweizen? Come on. And yes, I did swirly the bottle and check the bottom, and there was no debris to be found. I hope this isn't representative of the brewery as a whole, because I am really not a fan of this beer, though I'm still looking forward to trying some of Magic Hat's other offerings. 42/100.

4.8% Alcohol by Volume
Color of Head #FEF9C7
Color of Body #F9EF8A

This beer was surprisingly clear when I poured it, though I forgot to swish it around in the bottle a little, so that might have something to do with it. This beer is very light looking, the same color as a cloudy pilsner. Light, clear yellow. It's almost exactly the same color as lemonade. The head is not nearly as harsh smelling as, say, blue moon. Very noticeable citrus elements. Head is persistent, though thin, kinda like meringue. This is a fairly mild beer, a good introduction to wheat beer. Not too much coriander. It would go amazingly with a a light pasta, heavy with basil. Dear god that sounds good. There is absolutely no debris in this beer. It's impressive, really. This is one of the clearer wheat beers that I have ever had the pleasure of drinking. The fact that it comes in a 22 ounce bottle is quite nice as well! You know, the bottle only lists orange peel and coriander as the spices they use, but I'm pretty sure there are at least two more ingredients. At least one of which as a bit of heaven...

This is a very neutral pallet beer that if you let sit on your tongue is a little bitter at the back of your mouth, but has a bit of a sweet aftertaste. I just spilled beer in my keyboard. All systems go! Man, that was scary. For a brief moment, I thought I would be electrocuted if I touched it. And this is only my first beer. Also, I kinda feel like I am insulting this beer by drinking it out of a Shock Top glass. Anyway, this is a very light tasting wheat beer that does not overpower you with a whole bunch of secret herbs and spices. It is a very good example of how wheat beer should taste, not wacky or fruity. I feel like a manly aristocrat drinking this beer. The one thing I will say against this beer, though it makes me contradict myself entirely, is that there is nothing special about it. I mean, it's a great representation of a wit bier, but there is not a lot to make me say, “Damn, I could go for some Mothership Wit right now.” It just needs something else, you know? It's like the first car that pops up when you start a racing game, good stats all across the board, but it doesn't stand out at anything, even if the sum of the stats is greater than the other available cars. This is kinda like Shakespeare. I recognize that it's good and I have an appreciation for it, but I just don't want to delve into it. 81/100.

4.9% Alcohol by Volume
Color of Head = #F6E79D
Color of Body = #FF9B2E

I was expecting to be harshly brought down from the high I was on from the last Leinenkugel beer with this one, but I am still sitting pretty on my cloud. And you know why? This is a damn good beer. And it smells like fucking blueberries. EXACTLY like freeze dried blueberries. I think there is a little bit of allspice in there, too. You know the Little Debby blueberry pies? It smells like that filling. Very carbonated like the Summer Shandy. This beer is a good deal darker than the last one, bordering on lager territory. It is a little brown, and somehow manages to change colors from light to dark from bottom to top. Noticeably lacking from this frosty beverage is any hint of orange peel, or citrus of any kind. Normally this would be a complaint, but writing a niche blog like this can be a little repetitive at times so a change of pace is nice. This is a pretty sweet beer too. No part of it hits your tongue bitterly. It reminds me A LOT of Sweetwater Blue, which is one of my favorite beers. The blueberry taste is a little overwhelming though, which makes it hard for this poor lil ole beer reviewer to pick out some of the more subtle flavors. Not that I'm that good at tasting to begin with. But, I have the INTERNET to help me! I'll be right back, I'm gonna check out their website real quick and see what they have to say about this wacky beer.

OK, now I'm pissed. They say NOTHING about the blueberry taste. The only thing they mention is the coriander, which I couldn't even taste. Maybe I had just kept the beer in my fridge too damn long. Actually, that's pretty cool. Maybe my refrigerator has magical, taste transforming properties. It's interesting to note that Leinenkugel's website mimics the bottle in its design choices. Those being that it sucks. The loading screen is cool though, it's a glass of beer filling up. And additionally, there is a recipe section that freaking rocks. It's pretty cool to see a good sized company like this show off a little down home cooking. And what's really special is that it seems like that section is on the site not because they thought it would be good branding or pr, but rather because Peg (the recipe master) really wanted to share her knowledge with the world. It reminds me of something my parents would do if given the chance.

The glass is empty now, sadly. I was genuinely surprised by this beer. I thought it was gonna suck hardcore. But while I enjoyed it, I really don't think it was representative of what a true wheat beer should be. The color was wrong, the taste was off, it was very unbalanced (like the Summer Shandy) and the consistency just didn't seem right. Luckily for Leinenkugel though, it tasted pretty damn good. 7/10.

4.2% Alcohol by Volume
Color of Head = #F1F9AD
Color of Body = #D7E465

OK, before I even pour this beer and write this review, I need to warn you that I am pissed at my girlfriend because she is stressed out and taking it out on me. She has this History of Rock class (that's right, not geology but Rock N' Roll) that she doesn't go to that she has a research paper due in. She is doing it on Black Sabbath can't figure out what to write about. BLACK SABBATH!!! She's a sweet girl, but the poor thing knows absolutely nothing about music. I'm so pissed I might bite the head off a bat.

Anyway, I'm actually pretty excited about this beer. I have a feeling that it might be amazing. It also has a good chance of being complete and total shit, but such is life. It claims to be a “Weiss beer with lemonade,” which I'll admit sounds pretty appealing to me, even in this ridiculously cold November Tennessee weather.

This beer smells delicious. Like Stewart's lemonade. The head is fairly thick, but it retreats fast. I actually really, really like this. The lemonade taste is pretty heavy, but you can still pick out the hints of wheaty malt. Pretty damn carbonated too. Gums are already tingling. Both my roommate and girlfriend actually liked this beer, and neither of them drink at all which really says something for the mild sweetness of this beer. It probably has something to do with the low alcohol content too. I was concerned before I opened this that it would taste like someone spilled some Mike's Hard Lemonade in a Natty Light and tried to pass off the result as a microbrew, but this combines the two very well. You know, I have seen a lot of fruit flavors added to wheat beer, some turning out well (Blueberry with Sweetwater Blue) and some not so well (Raspberry with Abita Purple Haze), but it has really surprised me that I rarely see any citrus fruits combined with beer. Particularly fruits like lemons and oranges, you know, the ones you actually PUT IN the beer when you get it in a bar. I actually keep smelling the empty glass the beer smells so damn good. When I burp, it's as though I ingested some lovely Lemon Pledge, which is much better than the normal beer burp smell. I should start capping off my nights of drinking with one of these like a breath mint.

This is a (very) surprisingly good beer that everyone you know will like, even those damn snobby, American Guinness stout drinkers. Plus, you don't get called names for drinking this when you really want a cheer beer. It even has a twist off cap! This beer definitely stands out. It kicks ass at the fruit combination thing that so many other beers fail at. This beer really changed my view on Leinenkugel as a brewery. Though I don't know if my dismissal of them was due to me actually having and disliking one of their beers, or if I just really hated their logo and fonts. And everything else about their design. The whole package looks like it could be found at a crappy gift shop at the Cherokee Indian Reserve. Even so, I will definitely be picking up a six pack of this beer whenever the weather starts to warm up a little bit. 8+/10